Fed & Fit

Ep. 164: Staying Positive When Progress is Slow

On today's episode, I'm chatting with our guest about how to stay positive when progress is slow.

We're back with our 164th episode of the Fed+Fit Podcast! Remember to check back every Monday for a new episode and be sure to subscribe on iTunes!

Find us HERE on iTunes and be sure to “subscribe.”

Episode 164 Sponsors

Episode 164 Transcription

Cassy Joy: Welcome back to another episode of the Fed and Fit podcast. I am your host, Cassy Joy Garcia. And today we’re back with a reverse interview.

If you're unfamiliar with reverse interviews, or you’re new here; people who are longtime listeners of the Fed and Fit podcast are like; who doesn’t know what this is yet?! {laughs}

But if you're new here, a reverse interview is where a fabulous Fed and Fit listener writes in with some really good questions, or brings up a really good topic. And instead of answering their questions politely via email like they’ve asked, I instead invite them to come on the show to chat about it. So hopefully our conversation can go a little further and help some other folks.

Today I’m joined by the lovely Shelby Love. Isn’t that just the best name. She lives in California. She’s a college student there, studying English Lit. Oh my goodness, that sounds like so much fun. An alter ego of mine would have just loved to study English lit. There weren’t enough hours in the day to study all the things I wanted to learn about.

And she has a cat named Walter. I think it’s a great cat name. Welcome to the show, Shelby!

Shelby Love: Hello.

Cassy Joy: Hi! Thank you so much for making the time to chat today.

Shelby Love: Yeah! So, should I just go for it?

Cassy Joy: Yeah, go for it girl.

Shelby Love: Alright. First, I think I’ll give a little background on how I got to where I am. I have pretty much always struggled with body image, insecurities, those kinds of things. From a little girl all the way to kind of today. That developed into an eating disorder when I was in high school that kind of lasted on an off for about four years. And that eventually ended when I met my husband, and he kind of taught me that certain things aren’t as important as your personality, and who you are. And I kind of stopped following those eating disorder tendencies.

I spent about a year doing whatever I wanted. I didn’t work out. I didn’t worry about what I ate. But then after that year, I started to have some health problems that were kind of concerning. I had really unbalanced hormones. I was having joint pain all the time. I gained a lot of weight that I couldn’t lose easily. I was only 19 at the time, so a lot of these health problems were things that my doctor was kind of like; “Wait a second, you're so young. Why are you having these issues?”

It ultimately was discovered that these were probably a result of the eating disorder, and I was kind of suggested to start doing a paleo approach to see if I could fix some of these things and reverse some of the problems I was having. And I’ve been doing that for about a year. And it’s definitely been a struggle, which is why I emailed you. Because I was looking for some motivation and kind of some mindset help.

I have had some progress. But it’s definitely been minimal. I have seen some decrease in some joint pain, or I’ve noticed some other things. I’m less sensitive to temperature and that kind of stuff. But overall, about a year in, I’m still struggling with my hormone balance. I’m still struggling with weight that I can’t lose. Still dealing with exhaustion and being tired.

I’m kind of just; I think this is the right thing to do. I know if I stick with it, health will kind of figure itself out, and these things will heal. But I’m kind of losing motivation. Because it’s just not happening as fast as I want it to. So that’s why I emailed you, and maybe you have some wise words for me.

Cassy Joy: Oh man. This is such a good topic, Shelby. Thank you so much for sharing that.

Today’s show is made possible because of our friends at Thrive Market! Thrive Market is an online market place on a mission to make healthy living easy and affordable for everyone. You can shop for thousands of the best-selling organic foods and natural products at 20-50% below traditional retail prices.

Let me tell you what I’m getting from Thrive Market. There are three things that come to mind immediately; number one. Primal Kitchen Foods mayo. It is the mayo that I will always have on hand. It is my absolute favorite. It is the mayo that made me like mayo {laughs}; because I didn’t like it before.

Normally, this avocado oil-based mayo is $11.99 retail; and you can find it on Thrive for $7.49. incredible! This is also the mayo that I use to make a much healthier alternative for ranch dressing. Add some lemon juice and some dill; it’s so good.

Number two thing that I’m getting from them; Bambo diapers. These are the disposable diapers that we use on Greyson when we use disposable. We are using cloth on her, but when we travel, when we go out, I like to have some disposable on hand. Normally $13.50 retail; you can find them on Thrive for $11.49. Incredible!

Number three product that I get on Thrive. I get asked about this product all the time. Where do I find coconut aminos? Well, I’ll do you one better. I’m not just going to tell you that you can find coconut aminos on Thrive Market, but you can actually find them for almost half off. Normally they’re priced at $9.73 depending on where you’re shopping. You can find them on Thrive for $4.99. it’s unbelievable. These are the coconut aminos that we use as a soy replacement. And if you are looking for a recipe, Google Fed and Fit Mongolian Beef and you will find the most killer Mongolian Beef sauce made from coconut aminos. You need one jar of it. It’s so delicious, you're not going to regret it.

You can try these products for yourself today, and get an extra 25% off your purchase and a free 30-day trial from Thrive Market. Just go to www.ThriveMarket.com/Cassy.

Cassy Joy: You are definitely not alone in that. And I have a history of disordered eating, as well. Back in the day when I was in college, and in high school. And it’s so interesting you bring that up, because I never really put two and two together. But those of us; me in particular. I had a history of disordered eating; I knew how to change my body very quickly. You know. And I knew what I needed to do. But it was definitely not healthy. And I knew it wasn’t healthy at the time.

But I personally wired myself to be so expectant of very fast changes. That when you do start to change things over to what you understand to be a healthy approach, because you have these legitimate health things that you would like to work through. The painful joints, and the fatigue. Those are things that are great things to pursue. It takes a longer time to see an impact there. Anyway, I just say that because I really, really get where you're at. And that’s definitely; you're smart to look for mindset guidance right now. Because that’s really where it’s at.

I don’t know that without; as a nutrition consultant, of course, when you were talking. A part of my brain went to, “Let’s do a food journal! Let’s talk about it! What are you drinking, what are you eating? What are your activities like? What’s your stress level like?” A part of me was like, “I want all the details!”

But without having that, I think we can have a really good conversation around mindset in general. So I say that, because for you particularly, and anybody who is listening who is like; “Yes, I identify with this! What do I need to tweak? I’ve been doing this thing for a year. Two years. Whatever. I’m feeling kind of like I’m petering out in terms of progress.”

Gosh, isn’t that a terrible phrase? If anybody listening is named Peter, I apologize. I have a friend named Peter, and I said that. I’m like; gosh, do you feel like you're talking to a dog that just saw a squirrel? I get very distracted. But I have a friend named Peter, and I used the phrase “petered out” one night when he was at my house, and I was like {gasp}. You know you like fold inside yourself. I thought to myself, “He probably hates that phrase!” Because he’s such a standup guy.

Anyway. Distracted. So you feel like you're pouring yourself into this really great protocol that makes a whole heck of a lot of sense to you. But things aren’t happening as fast as you want. So I say the journal piece of it, because; I want anybody listening to know. That’s probably a good trap to run. A really good trap to run to start off with. Not to get into the weeds, or to get anybody to panic that they’re eating too much of one thing or having a sensitivity to another thing. But just to say, “I’m going to journal for two weeks what I’m eating, how much I’m sleeping, the water I’m taking in, and maybe my general stress levels.” And if you want to journal template, I have one in my Fed and Fit book. And I believe it’s also a free download still, if you're a newsletter subscriber.

Anyway, I would journal for two weeks, some of those things. If you can look at them, and you can kind of start to pull out some trends. You know? Like, you know what; I did not realize that I was actually only drinking 8 ounces of water a day. I know that’s not real life, but it could be for somebody. Maybe if we just turned that one cup of water into our body weight divided by two equals ounces of water a day, that could make a monstrous difference. Right?

So those are some of the low-hanging fruit things that we can look at. So I just say that because I can’t help myself, but want to dig in a little bit deeper into some of those things. But let’s say you do your food journal, you look it over. Maybe you send it to a nutrition consultant. I actually have a consultant team now that works for Fed and Fit that are happy to review journals, and provide some insight.

If anybody is curious about that, email. This is not meant to be an ad; but if you're like, “Who do I ask? I don’t know who to ask!” If you're at that point. Send a note over to Amber. I’m going to send these to Amber. Amber@fedandfit.com. She’s a very talented, a very skilled nutrition therapy consultant. And we can work together.

But, you don’t even need that. If you can look at your journal, and you're like; “Oh, yeah. I’m going to drink more water. I’m going to sleep more at night. That’s definitely the missing link. I see the missing link!” If it’s not obvious to you, maybe try to enlist some help. Find a nutritionist, a nutrition consultant, or an NTC/NTP. Or send it to a functional medicine doctor. Somebody that you’ve got in your rolodex that you can really lean on for help to maybe look at it also and review. Two weeks is going to give them a really solid idea of what’s going on.

If that comes back and you're still like, “Everything looks good. You're doing all the right things. Keep going. Everything looks great!” If that’s the case, and you're still like, “But. Nothing is changing. I’m not seeing changes as fast as I would want.” That’s the whole prerequisite to get into today’s conversation.

Then I would absolutely say; and this can be concurrent as that same time of you doing your food journal for two weeks. But when it comes to mindset of some of these things, I think we have to understand that true health. The analogy, when we talk about total load on the body that we use a lot is straw on a camel’s back. I’m sure you’ve heard that before.

But when we think about us as human beings, and our bodies are made to constantly detox. And they’re made to constantly endure the burden of living in this modern world. Whether it’s detoxing out pollutants from the world. Or metabolizing certain foods. Or trying to produce energy. And trying to make the most efficient use of the water we’re giving our bodies, or not giving our bodies. Right?

Our bodies are made to just figure it out. They’re going to figure it out, no matter where we put them, or what we feed them, or what we do. They’re going to work their best. So all of these stressors that we’re doing to our bodies. Whether it’s work, or lack of sleep, or foods that maybe aren’t necessarily very nourishing are straw that gets thrown on the camel’s back.

And it becomes the load that we carry. Our bodies are made to carry a load. We’re made to carry things. We’re made to have birthday cake every once in a while. We’re made to have occasionally stressful deadlines. I'm sure with school right now, you’ve got finals. Maybe you're just through finals. We have those moments of stress, and we’re made to work through some of that stuff.

But every once in a while, the load gets heavier and heavier because toxic load gets heavier and heavier. Or, we have really hurt our underlying health network, so to speak, through disordered eating or other sorts of things that we’ve done. That I did for my body. And we have to work to repair it. And the process of taking pieces of straw off the camel’s back in a very slow, methodical way. In a very great, intentional, healthy way. It takes time. And you don’t feel that weight come off all of a sudden. It’s not like; ok, I swapped out pancakes for tomatoes in the morning, and all of a sudden I lost 15 pounds and my knees don’t hurt anymore. You know?

That’s, unfortunately, that’s just not the way it goes. So I would try to charge yourself with thinking about gut health as number one. Right? And I’m sure you’ve run the traps on some of these. But just remind yourself that your body is working to repair. And you're probably still, again pending a review of a detailed nutrition analysis and lifestyle analysis. Your body is still working to right size some inflammation that was going on. You might have some very chronic inflammation due to something that happened. It’s just going to take some very sweet kind of treatment and very kind treatment to our body for a while before it really starts to relax and let go a little bit.

I would try to focus on when you're feeling frustrated, and you're feeling; I don’t know if this is helpful. I feel like I’m talking in circles a little bit. But if you're feeling frustrated, or you're feeling like things aren’t happening fast enough, lean on some very basics. Like, I’m just going to make sure I’m staying very hydrated. Because that’s something I know I can do. I’m going to make sure that I’m staying rested. I’m going to try to get as much sleep as I can at night. And I know that I’m going to try to just keep moving my body. It’s not about exercising to get fit, necessarily. It’s about exercising to just stay active. Because I enjoy moving my body.

I would focus on the enjoyment you get from healthy activities. Not necessarily the output, or the end product that those healthy activities could result in. And that’s kind of the analogy that I was beating around the bush around. But if we just wait for that camel to feel like he’s carrying a lighter load, it’s like watching a pot waiting for it to boil. It feels like it’s never going to happen. But if instead we just enjoy the process of pulling pieces of straw off the back, then it becomes a different story.

It’s not about how much does that load weigh. It’s about, this is a neat activity we get to do. So I would challenge yourself. If you are feeling a little discouraged in end products, then do your best to focus on; can you hear my crying baby downstairs? {laughs} Poor baby.

Then I would try my hardest to try to find some joy in the activities. And that’s the only thing that’s ever worked for me when I was getting through those spells. Because they’re long. And they feel very arduous. And it makes you want to give up when you're waiting to watch a number on the scale change. Or your hips still hurt. Or you're still feeling tired. It makes you want to throw what I’m doing out; like, is this even working?

But at the end of the day; what if you're able to make healthy recipes that abide by this protocol that you're following, that you really enjoy. Try to change the mindset. Not like, these porkchops are going to help my body feel better. And they’re going to help give me more energy because I’m not eating the breaded chicken fingers that I thought I wanted for dinner. It becomes about; they better make me feel better, then we might put too much pressure on that meal. Or on that workout. Or on the other things that we’re doing to try to be healthy.

Instead; what if we look at those porkchops and we’re like; gosh. This is so cool. I’m learning how to make a really good porkchop. And we get to have this really great meal. And it’s so fun to put a healthy meal on the table for myself and my family.

Shelby Love: Ok. I like that idea; yeah.

Cassy Joy: You do? It kind of shifts the; Shelby and I are video chatting. So I tend to talk with my hands a lot. So I’m doing that. But it’s not that we’re changing what shows up on our plate. We’re shifting from where we’re looking at it. How we’re looking at it.

Are we looking at that plate like; plate, you better move the scale! Or are we looking at it like; oh my gosh. Look at this healthy, beautiful, bountiful plate of summer’s fruits {laughs} and delicious burgers made from a grass-fed cow source. Whatever it is. Find some joy in that. Or gosh; I got this ghee from Fourth and Heart, and it’s got garlic infused in it. It’s so delicious! It’s ok to get excited about those things, and not worry about the excitement that we’re expecting from the end result.

Shelby Love: I like that. That’s a good way of; you're still doing the same thing. But one way you're putting pressure on it and expecting that this next meal is going to put me over the edge to where I’m magically healthy. Versus; what’s really happening is you're making slow progress and will eventually get there. And enjoying what you're doing versus not enjoying what you're doing. I like that. That’s a good tip.

Cassy Joy: Oh good, I’m so glad. I finally got there. Sometimes I have to talk a mile in one direction before I figure out where I’m going. {laughs}

Shelby Love: I’m the same way. I tend to be very long winded. And I will go on a 10-minute tirade about something and I’ll finally make my point. And my husband looks at me like, “You could have just said that last sentence and it would have meant the same thing.” {laughs}

Cassy Joy: Yeah, but you're like; “But I didn’t know that’s what I wanted to say.”

Shelby Love: Exactly!

Cassy Joy: I do that all the time. And that brings up another really good point, Shelby. Because it makes me think about the fact that, I’ve said in my book and I’ve said here a couple of times. Don’t be a hero when it comes to your health. Because heroes, at the end of the day, you're not going to see an equal amount of reward because you were so heroic with a certain meal.

For example; if you hate kale. If it just makes your skin crawl, and you're like; I don’t like it. But you know that kale is really good for you. So you think; I hate kale, but I’ve got to get ready for this wedding coming up. And I really want to look whatever for this wedding. And I feel like a kale salad is the way to get there. Then all of a sudden, we’re eating this kale salad, and we’re resenting the kale salad and the journey towards the wedding because we don’t like the kale because we’re trying to be a hero nutritionally with the food on our plate.

And at the end of the day, eat the foods that you like and the foods that you enjoy that still fit within the parameters. Because, again, speaking of me in particular. It’s very easy for me to switch in hero mode. Because again, I knew when I was in college how to change my body composition very quickly. It wasn’t healthy, but I knew how to do it. And that was by very restrictive eating. And when I did eat, it was only very few things.

I can still find a place for that within a paleo type of spectrum. And if I find myself slipping into this hero mode. “For lunch, I’m going to have that raw kale salad. No dressing. Steamed chicken. And we’re going to throw some broccoli in on top. And maybe I’ll lick an avocado, because I don’t want to have too much fat.” {laughing}

Those kinds of things. If we find ourselves slipping into sort of a hero mode, I also want us to have a gut check. Because we’re not going to get the reward that we think we’re going to get from a meal like that. We’ll probably go further, and get further along on your journey, in a really good healthy way by having a nice piece of fatty-ish steak with a baked potato with some butter on it. And some roasted vegetables. Nourishing, balanced meal, that has carbs, fats, and proteins all represented. We don’t’ have to be a hero. Whether it’s high-carb, low-carb, high-protein, low-protein. Whatever it is.

Eat foods that you really enjoy. Try to find a lot of enjoyment in that. And that will definitely get us further down the road. Because it really is, at the end of the day, about our perspective.

Shelby Love: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: Today’s show is brought to you buy Lorissa’s Kitchen! Lorissa’s Kitchen Protein snacks are mad with only the highest quality meats, including 100% grass-fed beef. There are no preservatives. No added growth hormones. No MSG. And no nitrates. Lorissa’s Kitchen meat snacks come in a variety of flavors. My personal favorites are the Korean Barbecue Beef and the Ginger Teriyaki Chicken! They’re so tasty.

I always keep a few in my purse and gym bag for a healthy protein-filled snack when I’m on the go and I don’t want to sacrifice quality ingredients. Lorissa’s Kitchen Products are available nationwide at leading retailers such as Target, Walgreens, Kroger, Publix, convenience stores, as well as on Amazon.com. Use the code 20OFFLK to receive 20% off on Amazon. This is such a good deal. Again, that’s 20OFFLK to receive 20% off on Amazon.

Cassy Joy: So I hope that’s helpful! Did that bring up any other questions?

Shelby Love: Yes, I actually do have another question. It’s kind of related to the same thing, but it’s a little bit more on the body-image kind of side. Still mindset question. One of the things that I’ve always struggled with, which is what led me to my eating disorder in high school is I will never be a 5’9”, tall, thin, blonde model. It’s never going to happen. Because I have hips. I’m Irish. It’s just, that’s how I’m build. I’ve started to learn to accept that over the years somewhat, but I’m not going to be able to accomplish this beauty ideal, for better or for worse.

But that is still difficult sometimes on trying to reconcile; this is what you're told you should look like, but you're never going to get there just based on pure genetics. So I was wondering if you had any mindset tips on that kind of vein. Learning how to accept who you are. And how you look. And not be influenced by kind of what the world says you should look like.

Cassy Joy: Ooh, that is a tough question. Man. Because there really isn’t one answer. Gosh, that is such a good question. And again, just to empathize. It is hard. It is hard; I do too. I have hips. I always will. And having a baby made me realize it even more. But it’s very interesting, because we do.

This is going to sound like a side note. But we had turned off cable when we first moved into this house almost 4 years ago. And turning off cable, funny enough. We only watch Netflix. And I used to think we were kind of weird, but apparently that’s a very normal thing to do now. Mostly because we wanted to save the 70 bucks a month.

Turning off cable, actually, I found relieved a lot of that stress for me. Because I wasn’t seeing commercials anymore, of these perfume ads, and these perfectly bronzed, 5’11” people on boats with flowing mermaid hair. I wasn’t seeing that constantly. And not seeing those things really helped me realize that I was beautiful the way that I’m made.

I think what we have to do is two things. We have to stop the stream of consuming content. That we’re consuming, that tells us what beautiful is. So whether that’s television, like it was for me. Following people on Instagram. Oh my gosh; here’s a really good example. Very recent for me.

I had a baby. And I was like; “Oh, I’m going to go follow all of these mom bloggers on Instagram. They had babies, and it’s going to be so fun! I have this whole new community of people.”

And I think I sat down one day and I followed like 20 of them. And then all of a sudden, my feed was full of all these adorable mom bloggers. And they have babies around the same age as Graysen. And then you know what I found myself doing? Being like, “How is that girl in a bathing suit. A bikini! And she has a 3-month old that’s the same size as Graysen?”

I started watching these women’s bodies. It brought up an old demon in me. This analyzing other women’s bodies, and thinking, “Why isn’t mind looking like theirs? Where am I on this path after having a baby and recovering?” All of this stuff.

It’s not relevant, necessarily, in detail to your question. But what it taught me, was I needed to go through. Because clearly my mindset; I wasn’t ready. I was too vulnerable at that point in time, I think, to really be watching and consuming all of this stuff that was telling me what was beautiful. That’s how I was perceiving it. “Oh my gosh, these women are beautiful! What am I doing wrong?” Essentially.

And nobody needs to think that. Especially new moms. No woman needs to think that, regardless of where you're at in life. So what I had to do, was I had to go unfollow a bunch of people.

You know what? If my body never ever changes, that’s going to be ok. I think I’m still going to be working on my mindset, and I’ll be able to refollow people that look different than me. But I think number one, it’s going to be limiting, policing, where we’re consuming content from. Whether that is television or social media.

If there’s somebody that you're watching, or something that you come across that makes you second guess or feel bad or question your own kind of beautiful, I would cut those off. Cut those ties. Unfollow those people. I give you permission to unfollow as many people as you want. Not that you need my permission. But just go do it; consider it an assignment. Unfollow those people. Delete your cable if commercials are apparently jamming up your juju like they did for me.

Two; go on the offense in remembering how gorgeous you are. Because you are. I get to look at you. You are this beautiful, vibrant person. You have this gorgeous brunette hair. You're just so bubbly, and just precious.

Shelby Love: Aww, thank you!

Cassy Joy: Yeah! Man, I want to do all my chats video. But it’s ok to really enjoy that, and remember, and celebrate the fact that you are precious and lovely and perfectly made. And I think that really enjoying that, including how your body looks. I think we need to remember that our bodies are; there’s nothing wrong with them. There really isn’t.

It’s very easy to pick on ourselves. It’s easy to pick on our thighs, and our hips, and our waistline, and all the other things that we’re thinking about. Stretch marks; whatever it is that we might have. I think it’s easy to pick on that stuff, and think, “Gosh. I wish it could be better. I wish this could look a little bit better.”

But it’s because what are we comparing beautiful against, to your point. And I think that when we start following things and consuming things that we believe are true beauty. And we’re proactively reminding ourselves that we’re beautiful, then that’s ok.

There’s a mirror in my house; I have two mirrors in my house. One of them is in my closet, and it’s the one that I get dressed next to, obviously. Whenever I put on an outfit, I’m like, “Wohoo! Got to go, let’s do this! I like this outfit.” And then there’s another mirror in my house that makes me think the opposite. I’m like; “Oh my gosh, I’ve got to go change!”

I think that it’s all in my head. It’s still just me, and it all depends on where my mindset is at at the time. Maybe I’m not the best person to answer this question right now, because I’m in the middle of recovering in general. But know that it’s a very relatable thing. I think that it’s important to only follow people that uplift you. It’s important to recognize that it’s going to be a journey. It’s not a flip that you're going to switch. A switch you're going to flip right away. I think body image and in truly believing that you're beautiful is going to be something that we work on every day. And being ok with that. Being ok with letting yourself work on it, and not be perfect in that matter is ok.

Shelby Love: OK.

Cassy Joy: I don’t know. Is that helpful at all?

Shelby Love: No, that helps! It reminded me of something I read. It was an article on Google or something. And it talked about how so much of your perception of your body is completely in your head. And how women will look at another woman who weighs more, or has a different shape, and their idea of whether or not they’re beautiful; it’s completely different from their own version. So they’ll look at somebody who technically weighs more than them, and think that they weigh less. Because our perception is so much based on what we feel about ourselves, and not what’s actually based in reality.

It actually reminded me of something that I think you said in your book, if I’m remembering correctly. That weight is just how much you weigh on earth. If you go to another planet, it’s completely different. Because it’s not an arbitrary number, but it’s kind of that way. In that it really just matters on earth.

But that definitely helps. So thank you.

Cassy Joy: Good. You're welcome. We really do; we get to define our own beautiful. And the ages define beautiful as we go. It’s a blog article that I haven’t written. And this is reminding me that I haven’t written it, but I meant to 10 years ago when I started my blog. But showing beautiful through the different ages; we think back on the renaissance age. And what was beautiful then? It was curvy, and voluptuous. Because it shows that you were able to afford copious amounts of food and niceties. It was having a very pale complexion, especially in the renaissance area of the world, because it meant that you didn’t have to work outside. That was seen as the most beautiful, you know?

In our generation, it’s more so the bronze, tall, the Kim Kardashian kind of motif. And it’s so interesting. But we get to define our own beautiful, and you get to define the circle that you run in and the flock that you fly in. And if you want to follow those people, and if you feel like they’re people that are going to inspire you in a really great way. Like, you know, I might want to put some highlights in my hair. And that’s going to make me feel so special and cute, because I follow these people and they talked about it. And that’s a good thing; it doesn’t make me feel less than. Then you know you're in the right circle.

But if you're following people that make you all of a sudden start second guessing your frame. Or your bone structure. Or your nose. Things that are just beautifully you that are going to be gorgeous by a different definition than maybe that flock or that circle. Then you know you need to cut that tie and find your people. And it sounds like your husband is one of those people. So I would definitely lean on that.

Shelby Love: Oh yeah, my husband is pretty great. He has definitely through the years that we’ve been together, he’s done the whole thing. “What do you mean you don’t think you look good in that dress? I love when you wear that dress!” Those kinds of things have really helped my self esteem of realizing; “My husband thinks I’m beautiful. Why do I care what random person on the internet thinks?” Kind of thing. Whether or not an article in a magazine says you should be this way, or whatever. The people who I care about love me for who I am, and that’s what matters.

Cassy Joy: Totally. Absolutely. There have been several occasions in my marriage with Austin that I’ve told him. Because he’s not the kind of person that automatically showers me with compliments. He thinks them, but he’s kind of silent. And sometimes I’ll have a dress on, and I’m kind of sheepish about it, because I’m still overcoming my own body dysmorphia. Again; it’s a destination less journey, right?

And I’ll be like, I don’t know about this. He’s like, what do you mean? I’ll be like, I need you to tell me if you think I’m pretty right now. {laughing} And it’s ok to ask stuff like that. Or if I’m pretty or if I’m beautiful. It’s ok, I think, to tell the people if you are suffering. Not suffering. But if you're working through your own version of body dysmorphia. Meaning you see something different in the mirror than what actually exists. Or if you're in a transitional stage. Trying to heal your gut and transition to a healthier, really good balance. Or had a kid. Whatever it is. Going through menopause.

So many people going through these transitions. If you're in one of those, and you're surrounded by great people who want to help you and support you. It’s ok to also tell them; “This might sound a little silly, but once a week could you tell me that I’m beautiful? Remind me that I’m beautiful.” There’s nothing wrong with that.

Even though I know; I just ask my husband to tell me that. It still means something to me that he really means it. So I think those are all good things.

Shelby Love: Yeah. That’s good.

Cassy Joy: Awesome! I hope this was helpful, Shelby.

Shelby Love: Yeah, definitely.

Cassy Joy: Ok, good. Keep up the great work. Definitely don’t be a stranger. I’m excited to stay in touch and hear about all of your progress. I’ll definitely be thinking of you.

To everybody else who dialed in, thank you so much for dialing in. As always, you can find a full transcript of today’s show over at www.FedandFit.com . And also, as always, we’ll be back again next week.

   

One Response to “Ep. 164: Staying Positive When Progress is Slow”

  1. #
    1
    Hannah Legerposted July 11, 2018 at 1:02 pm

    Hi Cassy!
    Thank you SO much for this podcast. I agree that the instant gratification nature of our society makes it so easy to get discouraged when progress doesn’t come as quickly as we think it should. When I sought treatment for an eating disorder almost 10 years ago, my therapist told me that the best gift that I could give my body was consistency. He warned me against hopping from diet to diet and exercise program to exercise program, that I could do major adrenal and metabolic damage to my system by doing this. Thank you so much for your consistent support and for being a constant source of knowledge for us health nuts!

Leave a Comment





As Seen On...