Ep. 30: Problem Solving Strategies

By: Cassy Joy Garcia
Fed & Fit
Fed & Fit

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The Fed+Fit Podcast | Nurturing a Healthy Mindset for a Healthy Lifestyle

We're back with our 30th episode of the Fed+Fit Podcast! Remember to check back every Monday for a new episode and be sure to subscribe on iTunes!

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Ep. 30: Problem Solving Strategies

This is the Fed and Fit podcast starting your week off with motivational thoughts on real food and fun fitness activities with Cassy Joy Garcia and co-host, Charissa Talbot. Remember our disclaimer; the information and opinions shared in this podcast are solely those of any given individual, and not a substitute for medical advice. Here are the ladies.

Today we’re going to talk about how you can instantly solve absolutely any problem in your life, what to do with plantains that have turned black, and a quick core workout.

1. Cassy’s News Real [2:35]
2. Charissa’s News Real [9:52]
3. Today’s topic: how to solve any problem [14:41]
4. Step 1: Admit you are part of the problem [24:06]
5. Step 2: apologize [26:45]
6. Steps 3 and 4: admit you don’t have the answers and ask for help [29:26]
7. Step 5: Work on you [32:46]
8. Fed: black plantains [37:26]
9. Fit: Charissa’s 3-way planks 2 ways [39:32]

Cassy Joy: And we’re back! Episode 30 of the Fed and Fit podcast. Thanks again to everybody who’s joined us for these 30 episodes. This is really kind of a dream come true that I didn’t even know I had. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: {laughs} I can’t believe it; 30. Wow.

Cassy Joy: 30 episodes. That’s nothing to sneeze at. It’s been a lot of fun. You guys give us awesome feedback, and really that’s what keeps it going. There are some times; I just wanted to start off with a big thank you, today’s episode, pardon me Charissa. This is not in our show notes. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: Now, wait a minute, I do not like; no, go for it. {laughs}

Cassy Joy: I’m flying by the seat of my pants. I felt inspired. Yeah, thank you guys so much for hanging out with us for these 30 episodes. And if you keep telling us that you’re enjoying them, then we’ll keep making them. I will keep bringing on the guests that you say you enjoy, try to invite folks that you want to hear from, and we’ll keep talking about the things that we enjoy talking about and that you find useful. So thanks for being here. And good morning, Charissa!

Charissa Talbot: Good morning, and thank you to everybody. We really do love all of our listeners. I love the feedback; I love when they comment on an Instagram post. I don’t know; it’s good to know that we’re not just talking to the air and people actually like what we have to say. Or maybe they don’t and they just find it interesting to listen to {laughs}.

Cassy Joy: Either way.

Charissa Talbot: Either way.

Cassy Joy: I hope you're entertained. I mean, at the end of the day, Charissa and I have never claimed to have all of the answers, which ooh, that’s kind of a preview of today’s episode.

Charissa Talbot: What, what!

Cassy Joy: We don’t have all the answers, but we do our best to have a good time while we’re telling you the answers that we do have. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: Mm-hmm. For sure.

1. Cassy’s News Real [2:35]

Cassy Joy: Ok, so, let’s quickly jump into it. I called Charissa, to admit fully, I was like, I want to do a show about this, and she said sure, let’s do it! So I’m pumped about today’s episode. It’s kind of out of left field. But before we get there, we’re going to jump through our News Real real quickly. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: For sure, let’s do it.

Cassy Joy: And just kind of give you the top 2 or 3 things that are going on in our worlds. Number one; in my world, I can’t stop staring into Gus’ magazine eyes.

Charissa Talbot: Oh my gosh! It kills me.

Cassy Joy: So for those of you who don’t know, or if you’re new to the podcast or you don’t follow me on social media.

Charissa Talbot: For shame.

Cassy Joy: Oh, no shame. {laughs} It’s ok.

Charissa Talbot: If you don’t know, now you know.

Cassy Joy: Everyone’s welcome. If you don’t follow, then you may not know. San Antonio magazine, which is where I live in San Antonio, Texas, reached out to me. They wanted to do a feature on me and the blog. I was so flattered, they did a write up of all of my favorite things, and just a quick story, and they hired a photographer to come in to shoot a photo for the piece, and this photographer, who is also in San Antonio, has kind of this zany, awesome spin on portrait photography. And he said, you know, if you’re not up for this idea, I totally understand. But he wanted to shoot me sitting next to Gus at the dinner table; like, Gus is in a chair. And Gus, by the way, side note, is my Great Pyrenees. He’s about 100 pounds, he’s a big boy. He looks like a big white bear.

Charissa Talbot: Giant.

Cassy Joy: And he’s such a fluffy muffin. Anyway, long story short, we got Gus up into the chair, we took the photo, we didn’t know how it would really come out. The prints finally started rolling out and people who subscribe to the magazine started tagging me in photos on it. I cannot get over {laughs} Gus’ expression on this page. It’s like,

Charissa Talbot: It’s priceless.

Cassy Joy: He knew that this was his print debut, and he took it for serious.

Charissa Talbot: I’m ready for my close-up.

Cassy Joy: He took it seriously. He looks square in the camera eyes, he kind of perked up his ears a little bit, he leaned over kind of so he’s leaning towards me. My friends showed me a photo of the article, and I couldn’t get over the photo. They were teasing me, they said you didn’t even read the article, or what they wrote! {laughs} It was like, I was mesmerized by the puppy. Ok, anyway, so you can actually find that online. San Antonio Magazine actually posted the article online, so we’ll link to that in the show notes.

Second update, let’s see. Austin and I are not anywhere near ready to have kids. You know; can a girl get married first, and {laughs} be whisked away to New Zealand?

Charissa Talbot: Um, yes.

Cassy Joy: Yeah. But my friends at one of the local Fox affiliates here called me up. I go on, I guess pretty regularly, I do cooking demos, they invite me to come and talk about different nutrition topics. But they invited me to come on and talk about what to eat while you’re pregnant. And that’s actually coming, the show will air the day this episode comes out, so Monday the, 27th, whatever that date is. Whatever today is! So I’ll try to link to the clip when it comes out, but it just got me thinking. When I went through nutrition school, I got really inspired by paleo for fertility, female fertility, and what to eat while you’re pregnant. While I was in school, I actually wrote about 80% of a future probably eBook. I just need to go back through and refresh it with some more stuff, recipes and things like that. But it’s actually something I’m really passionate about, so I’m excited about that show. I’m going to write a couple of new recipes to go with it that will go onto the blog.

Charissa Talbot: Nice!

Cassy Joy: So keep your eyes peeled for that. And then my last update, I have opened up something kind of new for the Fed and Fit project. If you’re not familiar with the project, it is my 28-day food and fitness call it a challenge that I run, and it’s not the challenge in the sense that you just kind of restrict and go without for a month and kind of say, oh look what I can go without. It’s really a self reflective, it’s a self study is really what I call it.

Charissa Talbot: Mm-hmm.

Cassy Joy: But you do a 2-week feel good reset to where you really get to a nice solid baseline of feeling awesome, and then we start testing different foods and different fitness activities. You figure out what to eat pre and post workout, and you walk away when all is said and done with this awesome bank of lessons learned, and I’m constantly blown away by the discoveries that people make.

So, what I’ve decided to do is open up; I hold your hand throughout this whole process, right? And everybody who enrolls, I really fold myself into it, as does my team. We’re there and we’re ready to answer your questions. We have an online workshop, and then the discussion forum. I’ve got a growing Facebook group, and I also send out 3 emails a week to answer your questions. But I’ve started also offering some spots where you can sign up for one on one coaching in conjunction with the project. So, all this to say, you get me for 30 minutes a week.

Charissa Talbot: It’s so awesome.

Cassy Joy: Yeah, and it’s really honestly a steal. I don’t take one on one nutrition clients really anymore, so this is a really rare opportunity. And it’s just because I’m testing the waters to see if this is something that I want to grow with my team and train my team members to take on these coaching opportunities. But for the time being, I’m going to be the one doing this coaching. So I’m only opening it up to 5 people to enroll. And what you would do is, it would include of course membership to the project, which is right at about $100, but with the coaching, the one on one, it’s $187 I think. Like I said, that’s a steal, because I used to cause almost three times.

Charissa Talbot: Such a great deal.

Cassy Joy: I used to charge 3 times that much for the one on one coaching. But anyway, you get me for 30 minutes a week for the 4 weeks of the project, where I review your journals, I give you some feedback, and you’re also able to pick my brain. So first come, first served. If you want to learn more about the project, you can just go to my website, FedandFit.com, and at the top right-hand corner on the menu bar you’ll see a little tab, a menu bar that says project, The Project. Click on that and it will take you right to the enrollment form. The August group kicks off on the first Monday of the month, and I believe that’s August 3rd if I’m not mistaken; it is, August 3rd. So, you can enroll right up until the day before, but recommend that you get folded in a little bit early, will do you some good. So if you’re listening today on Monday, July 27th, you’ve got all week to enroll and read ahead. So that’s what’s going on.

Charissa Talbot: So awesome. So awesome.

2. Charissa’s News Real [9:52]

Cassy Joy: Yeah. Ok Charissa, what’s going on over there?

Charissa Talbot: Well, I have a new family; a new gym family. So I’ve been in Austin for almost 2 years now, and I’ve been kind of just doing the Y and walking a lot with Pinto and been kind of pretty easy on my fitness, not really pushing myself and just kind of, you know, keeping up with a good steady once or twice a week. And there’s nothing wrong with that. You can figure out what works for you and do that. But I really decided to focus the rest of this year that we have left, and kick it into high gear, so I knew that I would need some help, and working out in a group really inspires you to push a little harder.

So I found this great gym in my neighborhood, actually. So if you can find a gym that’s super close to your home, it removes one of those excuses of, oh I don’t want to have to get in the car and drive over here, and deal with traffic.

Cassy Joy: Totally.

Charissa Talbot: So if you can find somewhere close to home, that’s a great way to go. So I just want to give a little shout out to Jarrod and Katy. They own Move Austin Fitness here in the Terry Town neighborhood, and I’m just loving it so far. They have a very cool program that they put all of their members through, and it’s an 8 week cycle. You focus on 3 different areas of fitness, so you’re really focused, so you do 3 weeks of one, 3 weeks of the other, and then 2 weeks as a transition. And it’s a great way to really track your progress and see how you’re doing. So I really like that they have very focused and intentional training programs. Because sometimes you go to a gym and it’s just, there’s no programming to it. It’s like whatever workout that the coach feels like doing that day. So I really like that it’s very focused and intentional. So if you’re ever in Austin, come workout with me. It’ll be fun.

Cassy Joy: Oh, I love working out with people!

Charissa Talbot: So much fun.

Cassy Joy: You know, I used to work out at, or I used to work part time for Lululemon Athletica.

Charissa Talbot: Mm-hmm.

Cassy Joy: And that was maybe; oh gosh. I hate to admit this out loud. {laughs} it’s probably the reason why I liked working there so much because they sent you off to go workout everywhere, with all these people, and that became something that I just lived for. So now I’m the girl where, if I’m trying to encourage someone to get started on a new fitness program, I’m like, I’ll go with you. I’ll go with you to that class; let’s go kickboxing, let’s go Zumba-ing. Let’s just go have fun with it.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: So I’ll come to Austin and work out with you, too.

Charissa Talbot: Yay! That will be fun.

Cassy Joy: {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: Ok, and my other little update is actually for my pal April who I’ve talked about on the podcast many times, from Butterflies, Peace, Paleo. We know her as the paleo dog whisperer; she gets a bunch of rescues that she fosters and she’s actually helped a lot of, I will call them paleo A-listers, get some great pups for their homes. Do you know, since she’s started this, she has fostered 50 dogs through her home.

Cassy Joy: That is awesome.

Charissa Talbot: And has helped them find forever homes. I think that’s just amazing. So, the reason that I’m calling her out today is that the rescue organization that she works through as a foster is K9 Rescue Angels, which I’ve mentioned here before, K9 Rescue Angels Houston, and they’re having their biggest fundraiser that they do every year right now. April is going to be doing a 5K walk, and she is already halfway to her fundraising goal. So if any of you feel inspired and would like to donate, even if it’s just $5, every little bit helps. If you go to her Instagram, Butterflies Peace Paleo, she has the live link right in her profile, and you can donate right there. Super easy. So if you love foster dogs and love the fact of supporting someone who does that; she does it all volunteer. It’s just an amazing organization. I love them.

Cassy Joy: Awesome. That’s awesome. Good one to support for sure.

Charissa Talbot: Yep. Great.

Cassy Joy: Oh, and I know April is actually on the hunt. I’ve told her that we’re, kind of within the year, maybe another year and a half, looking to add another little furry addition to our family.

Charissa Talbot: Nice.

Cassy Joy: So we are keeping our ears to the ground.

Charissa Talbot: Cool.

3. Today’s topic: how to solve any problem [14:41]

Cassy Joy: Ok, well, now that we got all that cleared up. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: {laughs}

Cassy Joy: Let’s roll in to this monster of a topic. Just kidding, it’s not a big topic. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: Well, I mean it can be a big topic. It’s kind of; it can be a monster, for sure.

Cassy Joy: It’s whatever you want it to be at the end of the day.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: And I’m kind of taking this; this lighter attitude because that is a part of, as you will hear in the next 5 steps, just the decision that I’ve arrived at.

Charissa Talbot: I feel you.

Cassy Joy: Yeah, anything is figureoutable.

Charissa Talbot: Yes.

Cassy Joy: Hat tip to my girl, Marie Forleo. Ok, so what we’re going to talk about today is how you can solve any problem. Period. Any problem, at all. And in the spirit of full transparency; Charissa, forgive me for this.

Charissa Talbot: No, no. Go for it.

Cassy Joy: Before the show, I said, you know, how do you feel about this? Did you read the notes? And then Charissa added in some notes. And she said, you know, I think it’s great but I don’t really want to throw out the word problem too much because some people might shut down at the word problem and maybe we just call it a circumstance or an obstacle. Right?

Charissa Talbot: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: And I identify with that. So, whatever word works best for you listeners, I want you to hold onto that. If us talking about problems causes you to shut down, then pretend we’re saying something else.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: {laughs} So I just want to set the tone there. I don’t want anyone to feel alienated. Ok. So, what we’re really going to be talking about today, there are a bunch of different problems that we can encounter in life. If you’re new to the podcast, know that we do talk about a lot of sciencey, food, nutrition stuff, and we do talk about a lot of functional fitness, how to, say, fold some of those things easily into your life so it becomes more of a lifestyle, and then we also like to fold in the occasional mindset topic, where we really try to wrap our minds, starting from the ground up, believing that mindset and your attitude sets the stage for health and wellness. It’s the foundation below all the other decisions we make, which is why we like to talk about some of these episodes, or fold in some of these episodes sometimes. So, just so you know that’s why we’re talking about this today.

So the kinds of problems we’re going to talk about, we’re going to relate to anything. Whatever your mind automatically goes to, focus on that for the purpose of this episode. But it could include maybe a problem you’re facing with your family; you know, heaven forbid you’ve had a loss and you’re dealing with splitting up an estate. You know? Not a pleasant situation. So maybe that’s a problem.

Maybe it’s a problem you feel that you have with your body. Maybe you’re constantly looking in the mirror, you have some sort of dysmorphia, and you see something different than what is actually standing there. Maybe you resent your body for looking a certain way, or not fitting into certain jeans.

Maybe it is a problem you have with your fitness routine. Maybe your PRs, let’s say you’re a crossfitter, your PRs, you haven’t hit a new one in 2 years ,and that’s so frustrating if you’re in that position, and you’ve been working out, and you’ve been trying really hard. That might be kind of a deflated problem.

Maybe you’ve got a problem at work. Maybe you feel like you deserve that raise, or maybe you feel like, why the heck did Joe Bob down the hall get the lead on that next team, and I’ve been working my tail off, and I haven’t seen that.

Charissa Talbot: Right.

Cassy Joy: You know, that could be a problem. A problem with your friends, maybe they’re not calling you back. A problem with your in-laws; maybe you’re having some communication issues. Finances; if you really feel like you're not on top of that. A problem with your spouse; maybe there’s some resentment going on, or, I don’t know, can you please wash the dishes? Who knows? It could be big or little. Dating problems. I was talking to a friend last night, and she said, you know, I’ve just come to the realization; she’s 25, she says I’ve just come to the realization that I have been dating the same person over and over again, and it keeps ending up the same way. So, that’s a problem for her, or at least she believes that’s a problem for her.

Or, lastly, the last one I included on this list, maybe you feel like you don’t have any “me time.” Maybe you feel like you’re constantly at the mercy of everyone else and their schedule, and their demands. Maybe you’re a mother of 8 children, like somebody I just recently met, and you cook for them all 3 times a day. That’s amazing. So maybe you feel like you don’t have time for yourself.

All of these, from big to little, from broad to specific, are the types of problems we’re talking about today. And there’s probably something that I talked about that we didn’t touch on that you do relate to, so focus on that. It could also be a business problem. If you’re a business owner, and you just released a new product, and it’s not killing it like you thought you would. So this is what we’re talking about.

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: We’re talking about it all. And the reason why that relates to this Fed and Fit world is because, like I just said, our mindset and how we approach life is the foundation for our health and wellness. And if you’ve got some nasty burr in your saddle, it’s tempting to just ignore it until you think it’s going to go away.

Charissa Talbot: It can become toxic.

Cassy Joy: It can become toxic. I’m a very, very visual person, so I’m literally imaging a giant burr in someone’s riding saddle. And you can ignore it, it will be a pain in your side, and you can just adapt. You can get used to it. And you can live with it. What we’re trying to do is daylight some ways that you can rip it out and move on with your life, and maybe things will start to get easier. Not just for that problem, but once you are able to solve that issue, or overcome that obstacle, it is amazing what that might clear up in the rest of your life. All of a sudden, taking care of yourself and going and working out and eating well become easier, because you solved the problem with your children. Or you solved the problem with your business. Ok? So that’s really how and why it all relates.

And really, this was inspired, my friend Hayley Staley, who is one part of the duo behind Primal Palate, we were chatting not too long ago and she was telling me about this book called Zero Limits. And, as you guys know, I am an audio book junkie, so I was like, I’m going to listen to that. I’m going to listen to it right now. {laughs} So, she says she’s been trying to encourage everybody to read it. Anyway, I looked it up. I’m about halfway through it. There’s a lot of it, if you do take my recommendation and you go and listen to it, take some of this with a grain of salt. There’s some of it that sounds a little hokey. There’s some of it that’s really inspiring. I say, just take away what you take away. I’m not saying it all has to apply to you.

But the concept behind this book is, it’s not necessarily how to problem solve, although that did inspire today’s episode, but it’s about how you can get to a point where your mind is at zero, and when you’re at zero, anything is possible. So how you get to zero is you solve all of the things that you’re facing. So I highly recommend the book; we’re going to talk about how you can turn any situation around in no time. And because I cannot help myself, I listed out 5 steps. {laughs} Sometimes I feel like an infomercial. Because I’m like, in 5 easy steps {laughing} you can solve any problem.

Charissa Talbot: Any problem! Well, I mean these steps, they’re really good and I agree with all of them and I think it’s a great format to help someone kind of break things down in a manageable way. This is not something you don all in one day; I mean, you could if you wanted to, but it’s something that really helps you take things a little piece at a time and work your way through it. Because sometimes, looking at a problem in a whole, and from where you are to seeing the solution, can be overwhelming. And like you said, you may ignore it and live with it, you know? So I think bringing it down like this is perfect.

Cassy Joy: Yeah, you know, and to add on to what Charissa just said. You know, you can break it up, and you can think of these 5 steps as in, I’ll do step 1 today, and I’m going to do step 2 tomorrow, and I’m going to spread it out. That is one way to do it, and if that is your preferred method, more power to you, I support you. However, it is also possible to solve your problems instantly.

Charissa Talbot: Yes. You can just rip it off, like a Band-Aid. {laughs}

Cassy Joy: Ok, and you’re going to know what I mean when I get into this material in like 5 seconds, but you can solve things immediately when you start to think about them differently. So step 1; let’s just go for it.

Charissa Talbot: Let’s go for it.

4. Step 1: Admit you are part of the problem [24:06]

Cassy Joy: And you’re not going to like this. Because I want everybody to fixate their mind; that includes me and Charissa, ok. We’re all going to be a part of this activity.

Charissa Talbot: Mm-hmm.

Cassy Joy: Fixate your mind on the first problem that comes to your mind. One of your first complaints about your life, or something that is in your life. Whatever that is, think about that.

Charissa Talbot: Got it.

Cassy Joy: Ok, step one, is to admit that you are a part of that problem. Ok? It might have other people who are involved in it, but they are not to blame. Ok? So release the blame. Relinquish that and admit that you are a part of that problem. Just like the young lady I was speaking to last night, the 25-year-old who says that she’s just come to this revelation that all these guys, to use her words, they’re like these sucky guys that keep treating her poorly, she says, and they’re all kind of the same and they all kind of end the same. And someone has to; I’m hoping that she listens to the episode, because I was just trying to be a friend last night and just listen to her, and not coach her.

But, you know, what you want to say is, you realize that the common thread in all of this is you. You are a part of the problem. You have put yourself, now I’m speaking to you guys. Whatever the situation is, you have put yourself there. In one way or another, ok?

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: So admit that you are a part of the problem. Number two; oh, sorry Charissa.

Charissa Talbot: That’s ok. Just to add to that, you know when you hear that, I am part of the problem. When you say that, I am part of the problem, it’s hard. It’s a hard pill to swallow, right? It’s not fun. It doesn’t feel good, right? But the point of this is to really move past and open yourself up to having a new mindset with these things. So I think when you come to terms with this, you will find yourself falling into the same types of problems. Like if you keep going through it. You know what I mean? If you don’t come to terms with it.

Cassy Joy: Yeah, number one, come to terms with the fact that it’s you. Stop pointing the fingers; oh, it’s such a saying that makes me roll my eyes, but when people are like, you know when you point your finger to somebody else, there’s four more pointing back at you.

Charissa Talbot: Right.

Cassy Joy: It is so cheeseball, but it is unfortunately so true.

Charissa Talbot: It’s true.

5. Step 2: apologize [26:45]

Cassy Joy: So number one, remember that. Number two, when you realize that you are to blame, and not everybody else. And that’s going to be hard to admit. Number one is probably the hardest one of all of these 5 things, is when you swallow the fact that it’s you to blame, not your spouse. The fact that the dishes, and he or she never does the dishes, it’s not, for whatever reason, you have to realize that you are the issue there, not that person. Ok? So number two, apologize to everybody involved. And when you apologize to everybody involved, you take responsibility. Right? I’m sure some of you are sitting there thinking, but! But, but, but! But, the reason why, you know, I have the problem with my children is because their friends are off giving them bad examples. Or their teachers dropped the ball, or whatever it is.

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: Drop the buts. Accept full responsibility, and apologize to absolutely everybody involved that you believe in your heart of hearts you have blamed at some point in time. Ok, so that includes your boss, your colleagues, and your body especially, if you have a hard time accepting it, apologize to your body. It sounds so silly, ok, but if you apologize to your body, you might be surprised.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah.

Cassy Joy: I’m not saying this hokey, apologize to your body and some magic happens in the universe. I mean, just saying it out loud or maybe in your mind, almost rewires your brain into stop blaming it.

Charissa Talbot: Mm-hmm. And when you apologize to people, it’s going to shift your mindset, and it’s going to shift the mindset of the people around you, and now you're in control. Now you’re in charge. Now you can do something about it. Because if you’re always blaming somebody else, it’s like, oh well it’s not my fault, or oh, I’m not responsible. Then it just hangs out and stays there. By doing that, you shift the mindset of the people that are involved, and then also you shift your own mindset. So it really opens everything up to actually allow the change.

Cassy Joy: It’s really, really powerful. It’s a really powerful exercise. Admitting that you are responsible for the problem being number one, admitting that is tough, but putting it into action is when you apologize to everybody else involved. Ok? I realize how tough that is because it’s really going to take some swallowing of pride, but it’s amazing emotionally what it will clear up.

Charissa Talbot: Mm-hmm.

6. Steps 3 and 4: admit you don’t have the answers and ask for help [29:26]

Cassy Joy: Ok, number 3. Now we’re on the downhill side, so the hard parts over the most part. Admit that you don’t have all the answers. Right? Because if you did have all the answers on how to solve this problem or how to overcome this obstacle, or how to tackle this new challenge; if you had all the answers then it wouldn’t be a challenge, or an obstacle, or a problem. Ok? So admit that you don’t have all the answers, and kind of abandon that pride, and start asking for advice. Oops, I blended the next two together.

Charissa Talbot: No, but they go together.

Cassy Joy: They do. Ok, 3 and 4 go together. Three is admit that you don’t have all the answers.

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: And then number 4 is to ask for advice. So when you are apologizing to those other people that you have involved, or you have blamed in the past for whatever the situation is, that’s a good time to include them in that conversation, what do you propose we do to solve this.

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: And this goes back to the, I almost wanted to name this episode, but it’s too long.

Charissa Talbot: {laughs}

Cassy Joy: I almost wanted to name this episode the proverbial, if you’re not a part of the solution you’re a part of the problem.

Charissa Talbot: It is your podcast, you could have a long title if you so desire. {laughs}

Cassy Joy: Oh, you know it is, but I think about those graphics that I have to come up with every month.

Charissa Talbot: Yes. {laughs}

Cassy Joy: It’s just too many words. But it is so true, and that’s where this comes into the situation. Consider yourself an owner responsible for whatever the issue is, apologize to the folks involved, admit that you don’t have the answers, and then ask those people, almost seek them as mentors. Because if they are touching whatever the issue is in some way or another, they’ve got a perspective on it, and they’re going to be able to give you some of their advice. I’m not saying you have to take it, but at least it gives you more data points and more things to work with.

Charissa Talbot: Right. And it does 2 things; you’ve apologized now, and you’ve admitted that you don’t have all the answers to solving this problem, and then it opens, it really lets them know that you’re taking this seriously that you really do want to find a solution and that you want to include them in that. And I think that’s very powerful for shifting your mindset, and the other person’s mindset.

And the other thing I would suggest is, try to seek out other people that have had your problem before and now don’t have it anymore, and ask them questions.

Cassy Joy: Mm-hmm.

Charissa Talbot: Get some insight into that.

Cassy Joy: That’s great. I’m thinking, for example, the one thing I’m meditating on is, really how do I take the Fed and Fit Project to the next level? Because we’re helping about 15-20 people a month, walking them through it, and it’s so enriching and it’s such an amazing experience, and I’m loving every second of it. And these people that are involved that are participants are like, wow this is awesome, more people should do this! And I don’t know how to get there. So there we go; I’m admitting I don’t have the answers, and I need to seek mentorship of folks who have done it, just like Charissa said.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah.

7. Step 5: Work on you [32:46]

Cassy Joy: Ok. Number 5, the last one, and this is just something to keep in mind throughout the whole thing, right. In the same thread of taking responsibility for whatever it is that’s going on, at the end of the day you work on you. And this concept, if you do decide to read or listen to Zero Limits, really resonates with the book. A lot of what I’m saying her does, it jives, but that’s really the main concept of the book. Is you can only affect, influence, and change yourself. Everything else around you, for the most part, is out of your control. Unless it’s a physical thing that you can pick up and move, everything is out of your control. The only thing that’s in control is yourself, how you react to situations, how you show up, and how you take ownership.

So, remember that because you are ultimately responsible for every single thing in your life that you experience, even if something you feel was done to you, right? Somebody hit your car, or somebody stole your purse, something that was done to you, dig deep inside yourself. I’m not saying that other person was not involved and didn’t have a role, but what I am saying is that if that’s something that emotionally has you hung up because you’re blaming them or you're resenting them, or it’s really put a hiccup in your health and wellness because your foundation of mentally, you're resenting this one situation in your life, I’m saying just try to wrap your mind around, dig deep, find a spot where you can assume responsibility for whatever it is. Because if you can assume responsibility for it, you can control yourself and you can get over it, and you can therefore solve the problem.

And that’s why I was saying at the beginning of this; these 5 steps, you can spread them out, or you can go through this instantaneously.

Charissa Talbot: Right.

Cassy Joy: You can just, I’m not saying you're going to call up the burglar who stole your purse and apologize for blaming them, but you can just look within yourself and say, you know what, I’m over it. I’m not going to blame that person anymore, what happened, happened. I don’t have the answers on why it happened, I don’t know how to prevent it in the future, and I’m just going to get over it because I’m in control of myself and I can do that.

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: That’s how you solve them.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah, and when you hold onto things, like I said, they can become toxic and they can leak over into other areas of your life, and then you can become, then you get in this place where it can be very scary and very toxic, because you can start to become a victim in a lot of areas of your life, and blame everybody else for everything. You know, give up responsibility and you can get into way deep down the rabbit hole. There are some people I’ve met who just think everyone is out to do them wrong. And, it’s just, how can you have health or wellness or success in your life or good relationships if that’s where your mindset is?

Cassy Joy: Yeah. It’s amazing how easy it is, and if some of you are even thinking while listening to this, kind of walking through the steps and imagining how you might pull whatever problem it is you're facing up from the roots, the feeling of the burden being lifted off your shoulder is almost palpable. You can almost literally feel it, and you feel lighter and ready to take on other things in your life. And that’s really what I want for you at the end of the day, is for your burden to be lightened. Lighten the load. You don’t have to carry it around. And you don’t have to go through the hokey pokey of all the different methods and thing that you see online; I’m not trying to belittle any one belief system, but at the end of the day, these are the basic things you can do to really help yourself.

Charissa Talbot: Yeah. Agreed.

Cassy Joy: Ok, so that’s it. I recommend, if there’s somebody that you know in your life that’s struggling with something like this, you know what? Send them here to the podcast. If you’re new here and someone sent you, I’m so glad you're here! And I hope you don’t think this is a bunch of hokey pokey. And that’s that. Comment if you have any questions, or you want to continue the discussion.

8. Fed: black plantains [37:26]

Cassy Joy: Moving on quickly, because we’re running over a little bit. I want to talk about our Fed segment, and I think Charissa has a really quick workout for us. We do like to end some episodes, when we get to it with a Fed and Fit segment, as per the theme of the podcast where I give you a quick tidbit on food, and she gives you a quick tidbit on fitness. So, today, I was inspired because when I was making my breakfast this morning I went to go into my pantry, and I wanted plantains as my post workout healthy vegetable based starch, and I pulled out my plantains that I keep in my pantry, and they were jet black. Like, black as can be. And my little heart sank to my feet. I was like, no! I really wanted plantains. But I got curious, and you know what I peeled one of the plantains away, and it was perfect on the inside.

So today’s Fed segment is, do not throw out your black plantains. Peel them open, because unlike a banana where when a banana looks totally black on the outside, it’s usually pretty black and mushy on the inside, a plantain maintains its cellular integrity a little longer than a banana, it doesn’t have as much sugar. So, peel it up, and the way that I like to make my plantains is I’ll chop it up, I’ll toss it, like a tablespoon or a teaspoon of ghee in a frying pan, cut those plantains into about quarter inch wedges cut on a diagonal, so they’re longer pieces, and fry them for about 5 minutes on each side until they’re nice and brown and crispy, and I cover them with a little sea salt. Or some Primal Palate, oh my goodness, meat and potatoes seasoning with their new line. Oh, so good.

Charissa Talbot: I have to get some. Everyone keeps talking about this meat and potato seasoning. I’m like, alright. Gotta try this.

Cassy Joy: It’s so stinking good. And we’ll link to that in the show notes if you’re wondering what we’re talking about. It’s like the best spices, they have the best quality sourcing, everything you could possibly imagine, plus they taste amazing. So yeah, season that and they’re good to go, so there you go.

9. Fit: Charissa’s 3-way planks 2 ways [39:32]

Charissa Talbot: Sounds delicious. Excited. I’ll have to try that. Although it requires me cooking, so we’ll see. {laughs} Ok, our Fit segment. I have something that’s really quick and easy that you can do in the office or in your house, no equipment. You guys know I love these no equipment workouts. This is 3 way plank 2 ways. So what you’re going to do is you’re going to start on your side, you’re going to have your forearm on the ground and your hand spread wide. You’re going to go ahead and stack your feet, and you can place your other hand on your hip if that feels good to you. And what you’re going to do is, lying on your side, you’re going to lower your hip to almost the ground, then push it back up. So what I want you guys to do is do 10 reps of that on one side, and then you're going to turn over into a full plank. And if you guys remember those up/down planks we did a while back, that’s where you push one side up, one side up, and then back down to your forearms, so you're going to do 10 of those, and then you’re going to do 10 side plank raises on the opposite side.

Then, here’s where the second part comes in. this is where it gets really fun on your abs. You’re going to start on the opposite side again, and you're going to hold that side plank raise for 20 seconds. You’re going to come to the middle, hold your full plank for 20 seconds, and then on the other side for 20 seconds. So that’s one whole set. What you’re going to do is run through that whole set 4 times; oof. Great on the abs, you guys are going to like, I promise.

Cassy Joy: Wo-hoo, that sounds awesome!

Charissa Talbot: Yeah. And if you need a modification, you can do them from your knees. It makes it a little bit easier.

Cassy Joy: {laughs} Awesome, that sounds great! Good one Charissa. Well, thank you everybody for listening to us, listening to that, how to solve any problem burr in my saddle. {laughs}

Charissa Talbot: Yep.

Cassy Joy: Again, we appreciate you, all of you listeners, new and old. Thank you as always for your feedback. We’re going to keep recording the episodes that you enjoy, so keep the feedback coming, and we will be back again next week.


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  1. DeAnn says:

    I really loved this podcast! I like that you guys talk about these issues, because, frankly, one can eat paleo all day long but if you are stuck with toxic thoughts, playing the blame game, or remaining a victim, you will only go so far in health and in life. I stopped what I was doing and took notes toward the end of the podcast. I have to say that I wrote what I remembered and they all started with the letter “A.” (I love that) 1) Admit that you are part of the problem, 2) Apologize…3) Admit that you don’t have all of the answers, 4) Ask for help, and 5) At the end of the day, you work on you. 🙂 That will be easy to remember and easy to teach my kids! Thanks so much ladies!

    1. Kelly says:

      Hi DeAnn! You hit the nail on the head and all those issues are so true! So glad you loved the podcast and have taken it to heart to pass it along to your kids. Thank you for listening!